The problem
1. Sort out the three conversations
Shifting to a learning stance
The "what happened?" conversation
2. Stop arguing about who's right : explore each other's stories
3. Don't assume they meant it : disentangle intent from impact
4. Abandon blame : map the contribution system
The feelings conversation
5. Have your feelings (or they will have you)
The identity conversation
6. Ground your identity : ask yourself what's at stake
Create a learning conversation
7. What's your purpose? : When to raise it and when to let go
8. Getting started : begin from the third story
9. Learning : listen from the inside out
10. Expression : speak for yourself with clarity and power
11. Problem-solving : take the lead
12. Putting it all together
Ten questions people ask about Difficult conversations.